Life...it's just too short for some

I meant to be blogging last week about the baptism of Emerson and how beautiful it was. I meant to say something about how much I appreciated David's family for coming and supporting us as we brought Emerson into God's family. I meant to do a lot of other things last week, but life happens...
It was Wednesday last week when I got a phone call from David around 3:30pm, which was not a normal time to be hearing from him. All he said was that Jeannette (his sister) had shot herself. We didn't know if it was an accident or on purpose, but knew it was serious and nothing else. So he left work, as did I. I called my mom and cried, not even sure where the bullet had gone into. She told me to just get to David's parents' house and she would take care of Emerson. I prayed to my Father the entire car ride, asking him to please keep Jeannette alive and to just let it be an accident and for her to be ok... by the time I got to the house we only knew that she in fact was at the hospital. A few minutes later the news that she had passed away came over the phone. My heart broke... we wept, screamed and asked "why?" over the next few days.
Jeannette was such a beautiful soul and giver. She gave so much of herself to all that she did and all that she had, but never took anything back for herself. Living like that just can't last for very long. At age 33 she decided that it was time for her to end her struggling life and go be with her Father. I find comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain, no longer trying to give more of herself than she could. She is now at peace and resting in her Father's arms.
The funeral service was yesterday and we grieved of our loss once more. This day was very heavy and emotionally draining for all those that love her...which is SO MANY! My heart still breaks for so many... her 16 year old daughter, Shai, who will no longer have her mother to go to in times of joy or sorrow. Her husband will no longer have his best friend to cling to. My husband who now stands in a line of just 8 children, instead of 9. And for my mother and father-in-law who had to bury their child...something I selfishly pray I will never have to go through myself. I am saddened to know that Emerson, and our future unborn children, will not have the chance to really get to know the beauty that Jeannette brought into this world. We will tell them all stories and show them pictures, but it will just not be the same.
I am so blessed to be part of such a courageous and strong family like the Lloyds. I felt them get closer in these last few days and pray that they continue to lean on each other like they have. I love them all so dearly and am honored to be their sister/daughter.
David and I miss Jeannette so much already and will continue to grieve of her passing. We will hold Emerson a little tighter, as well as the rest of our family...

Jeannette Marie Lloyd Crocheron - April 4, 1977 - April 14, 2010